When I Was...

When I was Five, I was told boys 'teasing' me meant they liked me.

When I Eight, I was told that the little boy pulling my hair and making crude comments about me meant that he wanted me to be his girlfriend.

When I was Ten, I started wearing bras, making me a shiny, bright, new object of boy’s and men’s affection.

At Twelve, I was told that being a daughter meant that I was supposed to act “lady-like”, to cross my legs, wear pretty clothes, and to “ALWAYS let the boys call you first”.

When I was Fourteen, I was called bossy by my peers when the boys were called leaders.

At Sixteen, I was worried more about how to cut my hair and which skirt looked nicer rather than the strength of my education.

When I was Seventeen, I was more focused on the future I could build with my boyfriend and what our children would look like, rather than what I could build with my aspirations.

At Eighteen, I am told to be a lady, but also to not be afraid to “rough it up” with the boys.

I am told I should know how to hammer a nail, and change a tire; but I should also know how to cook, how to put curlers in my hair, how to do the laundry, how to comfort a crying baby, and how to iron an oxford shirt.

I was told to never let myself be objectified, to follow my passions without fear or hesitation.

I was told to be a strong, powerful woman; a desired support behind my future husband.

When the man on the subway slips his hand up my skirt, I take out my taser and thrust it against his neck. I am a strong, powerful woman, but I stand for myself, not in the shadow of a man.